—But what am I saying, silly friar? –the Devil was getting more worked up by the moment—I have made cheap not only holiness but also salvation! Can’t you see? Now, salvation is free and for everyone!

            —Are you saying that salvation is for nothing and for everyone? That this has been your doing? But then… —Brother Peter felt bewildered and did not know what to think.

—Yes, man, yes! It has been my masterpiece! Let me explain it to you. Gosh! You humans and your puny brains…! Listen:

—Your Chief has always made the ticket to that place you call Heaven very expensive. One has to lose his own life, to renounce his very self: the path to Heaven is too narrow and steep, and few walk upon it; on the contrary, broad and easy is the other path, and most humans walk along it. Let me tell you, Peter, that, among so many statistics and opinion polls you are so proud of nowadays, your Chief’s data are the only true ones I know of.

—Cheap salvation – or better yet, salvation for nothing – is based on the wonderful doctrines of Anonymous Christianity and the Union of Christ with all men because of His Incarnation…, and all the rest that you know. It is also based, to a large extent, on what I consider my great discovery in modern times: the law of compatibilities.

Brother Peter almost sprang.

—Another one of your laws of economics, I suppose; or perhaps a law for civil servants?

—Bah…! — Satan seemed to become furious. You are even more useless than a lay pastoral agent made in the post-Council era. You mean those laws regulating the holding of multiple posts; my law works the other way around –truly speaking, everything that concerns me works backward—because it makes two most opposite and outlandish things to become compatible with each other. Let me explain:

—The first compatibility occurred when I accommodated Marxism to the gospel. Well, to tell the truth –only because the ones Above compel me to —, I accommodated the gospel to Marxism. You cannot imagine the amount of fresh meat that this, what you call, Liberation Theology has provided us with.

—Then, the New Catholics came. And here we have a wonderful list, kid: Catholics for Socialism; Socialist Catholics; pro-abortion Catholics; feminist Catholics; divorced Catholics; non-practicing Catholics; Catholics who do not accept the Pope; progressive Catholics; Catholics of autonomous conscience; liberal Catholics; pro-dialogue, pro-spirit-of-the Council, pro-revision-of-the dogma Catholics…Ugh! I don’t need to go on.

—Although, the best of all the laws I have invented is the law of Ecclesiastical Democracy… Your Chief founded a Monarchical Church, there is no question about it, even though now many of you try hard to hide this fact, or, at least, to make others forget it. From the start, there was the Pope, the head and supreme Shepherd of the whole Church; then, the Bishops, the heads and supreme Shepherds of their dioceses, and, in turn, subjected to the Pope; and then, if you want, there were the humble parish priests, who were working in their parishes, governing their parishioners according to their good consciences and understanding.

The Devil paused and looked at the friar with seemingly triumphant eyes.

—But I have succeeded, Brother Peter, in introducing into your Church the idea that Democracy was necessary! And the superb hoax I used was none other than Collegiality. It sounds good, doesn’t it? From now on, the Pope has to take into account the Synods; the Bishops, in their turn, are under the control of the Conferences of Bishops –and I take good care to introduce into their midst pressure groups which are in direct contact with me. And what should I say about the wretched parish priests? I have laid them off, Peter! Pay close attention: permanent deacons are in charge of preaching; lay people are responsible for the readings and half of the liturgical functions; the finances of the parish are exclusively in the hands of the laity; the organization of the pastoral activities in the parish has to be under the tutelage of the lay Pastoral Counsel; parish liturgy is closely monitored by the Parish Committee for Liturgy which is made up of lay people; not to mention the priestly duty of taking into account the inter-confessional celebrations and anything else that good coexistence with the separated brothers may demand; add to this…, but you do not want me to continue, do you? Perhaps you are wondering whether there is any activity left to the exclusive domain of the Pastor; but of course, signing the checks to pay bills… but only if he has previously obtained permission from the Parish Financial Committee –made up of lay experts, too.

            —And yet, my best achievement with this law, Brother Peter, my greatest accomplishment is that the democratic Church, once she has changed her internal constitution, is no longer the Church founded by your Chief.

            Brother Peter began to feel uncomfortable. What about his brethren? Shouldn’t have they finished their prayers by now?

            Suddenly, the ringing of a bell dispelled his doubts, shocking him and almost frightening him to death. He found himself lying on his bed inside his own cell; he was sweating, distressed, and panting. What...? Everything then had been a horrible nightmare! Brother Peter tried to take a deep breath as he felt like a castaway who, having spent several days lost at sea, was finally rescued when he was about to die.

            He donned his habit as quickly as he could, for he was not totally recovered from the nightmare, and headed for the chapel of the convent. He could hear the friars already intoning the first verses of Matins: Deus in adiutorum meum intende… Brother Peter went to occupy his usual seat at the back of choir loft, and got ready to open his breviary. He had barely started the Sign of the Cross, when he heard a noise behind him that made him turn his head back to look. Brother Peter could not repress a shudder.

            The hinges of the back door in the choir loft squeaked at the same time that, carefully and silently, it slowly began to open…