Let us continue with the topic of the previous editorial and try to pick up the thread of our discourse where we left it. According to what has been said, it must be noted that the presence of these two perspectives leads one to think at times that there are indeed two distinct and even opposed logics: that of love and that of the world. Accordingly, love would be ruled by rules of its own which are totally different from those which govern worldly wisdom and something it cannot grasp. And so the logic of love, compared with that of the world, seems to the latter to be illogical on two scores. In the first place, it seems to be a logic closed in on itself, because love has its own rules and seeks no justification other than its own. It is truly certain that only love can understand love and in the last analysis one loves because one loves: Causa diligendi Deum Deus est, said Saint Bernard (The reason for loving God is God Himself). There is every reason, then, for saying that, in this sense, if one really does not love, not only is love left without reasons to justify it, but itself actually becomes incomprehensible.
In saying this we do not imply, in any way, that love is an irrational feeling; the opposite is true. What we mean here is that true love is grasped only by the person who loves. Indeed, it is worldly logic that regards true love as irrational. That is why it is only when the Church let herself be led astray by worldly ideologies that it became possible for so many Catholic Curias (diocesan and archdiocesan) to bring in de facto divorce, by granting virtually all annulment petitions submitted to them. And this is a terrible sin against the indissolubility of Christian marriage established by Jesus Christ Himself; a sin for which God will demand atonement from the Church and from the world. In this way, although divorce is not recognized doctrinally; it is a fact. The basic problem stems from the fact that people no longer believe in the possibility of true love, a love capable of totality and an enduring love, a love that is ready to give itself entirely and forever. The wisdom of the world cannot understand the madness of the love of God.
THE DESIRE TO BE DESIRED
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. At the basis of this desire of the bride is a yearning to be desired, to be the object of the loving and enamored look, and to feel that the Bridegroom is dependent upon her. For the most primary desires that motivate him who sets the kiss of love on the loved one undoubtedly have to do with making this person his, with satisfying his desires to see her and contemplate her, and to give himself, in turn, to her in total dependence on her.
It should be borne in mind that, in true love, the yearning to be desired should not be confused with a wish to assert one's own personality. This yearning is simply a requirement of the very nature of love. Given that the law of reciprocity applies in true love, he who loves cannot desire without in turn being desired; equally, he cannot feel that he needs the other person without also feeling that she too needs him. And, just as the lover desires the loved one and needs her, so too he feels impelled to desire that she also desire him and need him. And equally, just as the need that one feels with respect to the loved one is entirely voluntary and free (like everything that is the fruit of love) to the point that the man-in-love would in no way wants to be free of this need, the same happens in the case of the desire to feel needed by the person one loves. In this sense, not wanting to feel the need of the loved one, or not desiring to be needed by her, would be equivalent to nothing less than lack of desire to love; or, to put it another way, it would be the same as not to love.